bless our mess

I had my first mommy meltdown the other day. My list of "to do" was getting the best of me, and things kept creeping up without warning. J's car needed $800 worth of repairs and we just got bills for Sam's birth. And of course, there is the house purchase thing. I've been trying to find the time to compile all the information the bank needs for our mortgage, copy it all and send it off...all with a 12 week old permanently attached to my boob. A particularly stressful trip to the Post Office was the straw...just a pile of envelopes telling me other things that I need to do.

Well, I'm doing much better now. I started a list and this seems to calm my nerves a little bit. There is something about seeing all the chaos I'm supposed to tackle neatly organized on a piece of paper. Due to my interrupted sleep patterns, my memory has been shot. I was stressed and would then have to think about why. It was like I knew I was stressed, I could feel my stress, but my brain could not recall all the reasons why, which was stressing me out even more. Stressing about not being able to remember what I'm stressed about. Now I just have to look at my list and be reminded of why I feel overwhelmed. Ironically calming.

And to help things, I think Sam is starting to get some teething discomfort. Last night I heard a new cry...it was bad. It was loud and squealy. Unnerving. I ran my finger over his gums and he immediately stopped crying and sucked and chewed. At least I think I know what the problem is. It's so much worse when you don't.

And I have successfully transitioned to cloth diapers! Well, today I did. I still plan to use disposables overnight and when out of the house. I haven't washed a load yet, so I'll keep you posted. Hopefully it will prove to be simple and easy. Lord knows I don't need anything to get more complicated around here...we're exhausted.